Thoughts of You on a Windy Day

You are the King's Bishop

2008-08-10T15:33:00.000+08:00

Your result for Which Chess Piece are You Test?...

The King's Bishop

Congrats! Only 3-4% of the population score this!

To others, the King’s Bishop projects confidence. This can be mistaken for arrogance; but its source is easy to find. From an early age most of the King’s Bishops are specialized in their knowledge. When it comes to an area of expertise the King’s Bishop has several. They can know immediately if they can help you and how. They know what they know, but more importantly they know their limits.

This Bishop is a perfectionist. They will always attempt to improve upon anything of interest. They have an unusual independence of mind which frees them from authority, convention or sentiment. Anyone who is slacking will lose respect – and be made aware of this. The King’s Bishop can be secretive when making critical decisions. However they are even-handed and will recognize contributions others give.

This Bishop is highly ideal with their goals. They attempt to pursue high degree of quality in solutions and can be critical of ideas that compromise this quality. Because of their unwillingness to accept ‘good enough’ they can be unrealistic. They are at their best when they have time to think through a problem, at which point they may have a plan to solve the dilemma. The King's Bishop is an individual with a very analytical attitude. They are like the Queen's Rook, in that they prefer the ascetic quality of solitude. They are not as sociable as others, but are quite prepared to lead if they deem the current leadership as weak. They are thankfully pragmatic and logical individuals. They have very low tolerance for emotional rampaging or the spinning of 'truths'

Take Which Chess Piece are You Test? at HelloQuizzy

Coin Trade

2008-07-18T03:59:00.000+08:00

A little elf made a trade with me
In the night, perhaps in a dream:
A gold coin for my destiny.
But thinking that it was a dream

I grinned and gave it away.
The elf was gone the next I looked;
Where he stood, the gold coin lay.
I picked it up and cursed the crook

And to waking I slowly went,
But I felt bad that the trade was done
And my riches were almost spent.
So I sought to trade my coin for fun

At the local drinking bar
But on the way I tripped and fell
And the coin rolled very far.
I ran and leaped and ducked and well,

The coin was the better man,
Across the road it went past me
And unto your waiting hand.
"My dear, you hold my destiny,"

I said, but you smiled and winked and the wind danced on your hair,
And I saw myself in you and I lost my composure and I could not speak at all.
My pockets were empty and my mind lost its wit,
And my poetry could no longer merit an exchange.

So I took my heart and offered,
Which you traded with me gladly-
And it was then, I realized,
That I no longer owned my destiny!

---

Happy 2nd month, Cat. :3

Hotdog

2008-07-10T16:43:00.001+08:00

For the first time ever, I saw a long slice (or should I say, "unslice") of hotdog in the spaghetti I bought for merienda from Jolibee. I had to look at it twice to make sure it wasn't something else. LOL

Future

2008-07-03T20:23:00.000+08:00

One thing about knowing too much is that you have the tendency to think too much about something. Oftentimes, you'd be convinced about the conclusion that you've decided for yourself without even actually doing it.

I've realized this for quite some time now, which was why I've decided to forget about certain "predispositions" to which I have been trained. "This thing won't sell", "you should start with X business first", and so on: screw that. I've always lived by the principle of being responsible for oneself and learning from one's mistakes. If I want to learn from something, I'd rather experience it myself than just read about it in a book or hear about it from someone else.

My father has been suggesting lots of other things to me about work and my future. I suppose I can't really blame him; he feels like his days are numbered, and he probably wants to leave something behind (or ensure that things are well before he goes). Whenever I tell him, "I'd like to do _____ in a few years," (insert new business here), he'd say, "Why don't you do X or Y? It's better... etc etc blah blah".

Only recently did I think about why he has been saying that. A direct translation of it could be, "Don't do that. Do X or Y instead." Somewhere, a small part of me believes that. A small part of me thinks that I might be wrong, and that maybe the safer route would be to do X or Y, or, heck, run my Dad's business. I was a bit mad and hurt that that small part of me exists, that because of its existence, I doubt myself.

My new understanding of him and his words came when he asked me to join him for dinner randomly, two nights ago. He was near the office, so he invited me. We didn't talk about my future and all that. We just talked about our days, and how we were in general. Part of me wanted to bring up the topic about how he was whenever I would talk about what I wanted to do. However, seeing him, and taking into consideration his real motivations behind his words, made me decide not to push through. I just thanked him for the meal, and subtly, thanked him for his advice.

It was only advice, after all. The decision was still left in my hands. At the end of the day, I still can't blame anyone but myself for making that decision.

I'm actually thankful that I met Cat. When I first saw her, I never really knew what she wanted to do for a living. It was actually the same as what my brother / siblings wanted to do. It was something I've always wanted to do, myself.

I hope things start picking up. I can already see a vision of the future; all that's left is to start walking towards it.

Science

2008-07-03T15:42:00.000+08:00

Sperm-powered Nanobots

Happy research subjects? LOL

Scientist: "We seem to have run out of test fluid... give me a minute."

---

In other news, I'm sick. Heh, well, it came at a bad time since I have to go to the Davao Cyber Expo this weekend for an event. That, and it's embarrassing to be absent for two consecutive days (or more). It's a good thing that we (I) don't have much to do, or else I'd come back to a crap-load of work.

---

This post has been made with thanks to a neighbor's (or wherever, haha) WIFI connection. It doesn't have security so anyone could just leech from it. :P

Farewell to Self

2008-06-26T17:19:00.001+08:00

Distance wraps itself around me, a lonely satellite being
Floating in a sea of pure depth and space,
Pure nothingness, blackness, or light.

My branches sway towards you like sunflowers in the morning,
Their existence now a second longer by the sweet sight
Of you and him under a faraway moon.

It is perpetually nighttime, where I live.
Pieces of me, lost, or broken by careless museum patrons
Shimmer like signals from a lover by a lighthouse.

That same lover sighs, but returns each night,
To send a sliver of light reflected from her eyes from the myriad stars
To her faraway soul, saying, "return".

When he smiles at you and your sight is made radiant
Like the instant between dawn and pure morning,
My branches, reaching out towards you, remain unchanged.

One day, when you are idle, or feel strangely compelled, look within you.
If by any chance, in the infinite depths of your heart, you do not find me,
Walk out into your world, proud, that sadness has left you.

- Inspired by Quarter

Outing 1 and 2

2008-06-24T19:18:00.000+08:00

Last Thursday and Friday, we had our departmental team-building outing. We had a lot of activities that Thursday, which we topped off with a late night videoke and beer session. This would also be the time that Julius almost lost his job. HAHAHA. Niel and I were laughing our asses off just watching the others go about drunk. I was feeling sleepy already, though, and decided that there really was no point in pushing myself further.

Friday was so-so, since I had a bad hangover. I decided to swear off drinking too much for a while. Not only because it was a real hassle, but also because I still had to pick up Cat for the OS outing, which would be Saturday and Sunday. Hurray for really long vacations!

I was feeling a bit better by the time we met up. We were supposed to ride a tricycle / taxi to the meeting place but it rained, so I had to bring out my car.

The bus trip was kinda sucky, though. I don't know if it was just my back (it's not perfectly straight - it's not arched, but it's slightly twisted) or the seat, but when I lied down on the seat, there was nothing holding my neck. It was a bit hard to sleep. Good thing Cat was there. We could sleep on each other. Hahaha. But still, it was a bit tough. Add to that the fact that the bus had two flat tires...

Food was pretty nice at the resort. The place wasn't too fancy, but it really didn't have to be. It was simple, nice and cozy. I managed to get to know most of the people there (not really as much, but at least I know their names and a bit about their backgrounds now) so it was neat. Of course, the time I got to spend with Cat (practically two whole days) was wonderful.

We were met with a storm while we were in Potipot Island on Sunday morning. It was like a scene from Survivor. Lol. We were being pelted with solid rain drops and the seawater became colder. We just laughed about it and bared with it for a while. Not like we had a choice! Haha.

Anyway, the return trip was stormy as well. It was pretty dark out, but we were fortunate to be safe for the most part.

Cat and I brought Niel, Chino and Xandra home, then we went out for a quick drink at Starbucks since I was already feeling sleepy and tired (doesn't happen often when I drive, so I knew I was really tired). Cat is Ironman, is a Gundam, and needs coffee to survive. X3 Overall, it was a great vacation. I just need to make sure that I pack more clothes next time. Lol.

1 Month

2008-06-18T00:14:00.000+08:00

Dear Cat,

Happy monthsary to us! X3

Sure does feel like we've been a couple for more than a month. Feels like a year already, actually (as we've always been saying).

I'm really glad I met you. I think it was fate... Maybe there were a few lonely angels in heaven who chanced upon our wandering souls and thought, "the world needs a bit more love. We just need to make those two people meet to make it right."

Well, whatever the case, I am grateful. There was something about you that drew me in the first I saw you. I think I saw a vision of us. I just had to get to know you. I couldn't let go of that opportunity. I took it longingly, and I remembered how it was to be alive. Thank you.

I love you, Catherine. Know that I will always protect you.

Thinking of you always,
Chase

Hair, Toycon, Contacts, Occasions

2008-06-17T02:47:00.000+08:00

I wish my hair would grow longer faster already. I want to have it cut and died ash blond, but right now it's still too short (well, at least for the bangs / side). I already have Cat's blessing regarding my plans for it so I feel more confident (and excited). Haha.

---

The only thing I didn't like about Toycon was that the venue was too hot. I think the arrangement of the stalls could have been done better, too, since some areas were more cramped than the others. Cat didn't feel too well staying in there. Strangely enough, I couldn't wait to get out of there, also.

We watched a bit of Code Geass at home, then lounged about for a while. I watched her as she slept. She was so cute. It made me feel content and at peace. I could probably do it the whole day.

We ate dinner at Kozui afterwards. I wanted to let her taste the green tea frappes they had there, but she wasn't feeling well so she just had tea instead. She liked the Karage Chicken Wrap I told her about, though. I ate two servings of it myself. lol

---

I bought Cat two pairs of contact lenses earlier today. It's part 1 of infinity for the monthsary gift I'm going to give her. Hahaha.

My glasses have been making my left eye hurt (something I tried to fix with a new pair, but oddly enough, it returned). I'm thinking of getting contacts, myself.

Anyway, back to the topic of monthsaries: I asked Cat about it before, maybe a few days into the relationship, whether she wanted to celebrate monthsaries and such. She said that she didn't, since it would be inconvenient. "Maybe 6 months, or anniversaries," she said.

Now, she wants to celebrate monthsaries. X3 It's so cute. I think I'd still treat her to celebrate even if she didn't want to, anyway. I'd just call it a "special date". Hahaha. <3

Chords: Yasashisa no Shizuku

2008-06-12T13:24:00.001+08:00

UVERworld's Yasashisa no Shizuku (Acoustic): Fmaj7 Emaj7 Am7 Cmaj7

Just go up one half step for the regular version.

If I got a chord wrong, let me know. XD

Winter

2008-06-11T01:30:00.003+08:00

Although I woke up early yesterday, I felt oddly tired. I could hear a light wheezing from my breath and I wondered if it was because of fatigue (from band practice the day before) and the few moments of smoke exposure I've been experiencing these past few days. I ended up sleeping for two more hours. Later at work, though, I found myself feeling sleepy again. I wondered why, but nothing came to mind.

I promised not to bother Cat today since she'd be going out with Xandra. Their gimmicks have been getting postponed for quite some time now, and I didn't want to distract her now that it had pushed through. I'm sure they're going to miss each other a lot when Xandra leaves for the States; I knew that I should let them make the most of things until then. I know that eventually, I'll be in the same boat as Cat is with her. I suppose I need to prepare and be strong, too, for both our sakes.

I headed off to Starbucks late that afternoon, deciding to get myself perked up by coffee and some [poetry/song/random] writing. Niel texted me soon after I got there, though, so I invited him to chat. He really looked like he needed to de-stress, so it was the perfect chance for the both of us.

We talked about things that were on our minds, and told a few stories to catch up on each other. It was pretty nice. We talked about the band as well: how we could grow (future gigs and similar opportunities come to mind), how to avoid mediocrity and being complacent, how we were compared to how we are now. I'm looking forward to a good future for the band.

I never got to write then, since I never got my alone time. I've been thinking a lot for most of the day, though, and I found myself wanting to write after I got back from my coffee break. It was a song that went,

"As snow falls in that foreign land, reach out your hand.
The prayers I have said in the rain are being carried to you."

Chicken

2008-06-10T16:18:00.001+08:00

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer(s): http://philosophy.eserver.org/chicken.txt

Funny read from my brother. XD

Schiff

2008-06-09T23:51:00.001+08:00

Schiff had band practice earlier. It was supposed to start at 4 PM, but things happened, some people were late, and we ended up starting at around quarter to 6. To top off the bad luck, my Metal Zone effects pedal ran out of battery just before we started, so I had to stick to the [crappy] distortion (if it could even be called that, lol) of the amp that I was using. Sigh~

We ran through all of our songs, though, which was fun. We spent most of our time fine tuning our first composition. We tried lots of things for the various parts of the song, but by the end of the practice, we only decided to keep the intro. Haha.

Practice ended at around 9:30 PM or so. Chino, Janrey and I went to McDonald's to eat dinner, while Niel and Ekong went home because of family obligations. Got back home at around 10:30 PM. It was pretty tiring, but it was still fun.

I need to practice my guitars a bit more; I've been focusing on some of my old techniques (which "atrophied" away due to lack of use... it has been a while, after all) and I think I'm getting my groove back. Can't wait.

Mom 2

2008-06-08T22:58:00.002+08:00

This post is about Cat's mom again, not mine. Hehehe.

I dropped by earlier and gave them this really long roll of dark chocolate cake (while I was buying it, I realized I wanted some too... I'll go buy some for us next time). Although her mom wasn't in the best of moods, the smile I saw from her looked pretty real. She hid it quickly and said, "I'm not lured easily by bribes."

Of course, I said that it wasn't (really). Cat and I hung out like old people outside their house (sitting on chairs by the street, watching people come and go, talking about random things).

As I was heading home, I texted her mom, for "emphasis": "The cake really wasn't a bribe. Hehe. Enjoy."

To which she replied, "Hehehe back at you. Nothing's going to change though."

"I understand," I replied.

"Don't make my daughter cry, all right? I'm not nice when I'm angry," she followed.

Then, I said, "Of course not. I don't want her sad, also."

"It's good that we understand each other. Thanks for the cake, by the way."

And now I think we do understand each other a bit more. Hahaha.

Promise

2008-06-05T17:03:00.000+08:00

hosoi kusuriyubi ni 'yakusoku' to iu yubiwa wo hamete kono hitomi wa iro wo utsushita
nani mo nakatta hazusa kimi no sonzai nakushi dewa kono sekai wo nurikaete kureta ne

Thoughts of You at Midnight

2008-06-05T03:41:00.001+08:00

Late in the evening, after rain,
Looking up into the night sky-

My body becomes a simple mixture of
Dust, wind, and thoughts or dreams,
Floating above your home,
Looking down towards your deep eyes
That glimmer.

Your hair is still wet.
Perhaps you were waiting for someone,
Thinking of that person while he is away.
The night chill takes your sighs,
And I could almost make out his name
In the darkness.

You send out wishes towards shooting stars,
And from my lonely place I am suddenly pierced
By a rush of sparkling, hungry, delirious longing.

My sight follows it along a trail of stardust,
Where it falls upon my distant body;
Onto these two, patient hands outstretched
Made comfortable by the thought of you
And the memory of your skin.

Looking up into the night sky,
I see you before me,
Coming to me from a hundred years past.

Guitar

2008-06-03T18:23:00.001+08:00

I picked up my acoustic guitar and strummed a few chords from this certain song... I knew then that I wanted to play this for her, one day.

Mangaholix

2008-06-01T10:02:00.000+08:00

I went with Cat yesterday to the Mangaholix convention. It was the first time I got to go with someone there so I knew it wasn't going to be the usual drop by-walk around-leave thing.

She met a lot of her friends and introduced me to them. They were all pretty perky and friendly, it was cool. Seeing Cat being so lively and animated was nice.

(It is at this point that I realize that I cannot remember any names, except a few T_T I just remember faces and attitudes.)

We walked around the convention and chatted (pretty much her, though, heh) with her friends. Later on, we decided to hang out in Starbucks because there was nothing else to do. I think we walked around the whole Mall of Asia since the first Starbucks we went to didn't have indoor seats. We headed to the other Starbucks, by the main entrance, then.

The place was packed when we got there so we had to wait a while. If I could perfectly emulate Cat's plzgivemeicecream look, I think I would have done that to those who were sitting down on the seats but did not buy any coffee. Hahaha. When we sat down, we snuggled and talked for about an hour or so (didn't really check / care about the time...).

When we were heading back to the convention, we bumped into Cat's usual group of friends (Nana cosplay group + assorted cosplayers and friends) at Pizza Hut. We weren't feeling hungry then since we just drank coffee (if that made any sense - but both of us felt the same way LOL) so we just hung out with them.

They passed around Cosmode and Neo Genesis magazines and talked about their favorite bands. Later that night, when Cat and I talked about the day, we saw how different men and women talk about their favorite things.

Girl: [Guitarist] of [Band A] is so hot! I swooned when he kissed [Bassist] on the cheek during their concert.
Boy: [Guitarist]'s new guitar seriously owns. I want one.

Girl: [Vocalist] of [Band A] wore a [cute outfit] during this photoshoot! *squeal*
Boy: You guys heard [song] yet? The arrangement was amazing. We should jam this.

Well, at least that was what was running through my head while Cat was talking to Nana, Shin and Hachi (cosplay names, since I can't remember their real names, sorry). Haha, but it was nice to see Cat in her element. I hope they didn't think I was feeling left out or something. I'm cool with just watching them do their thing while I'm with Cat.

I was thinking about the outfits that I saw in the Neo Genesis magazine, though. They had Alice Nine and a bunch of other bands there, with pictures. The clothes were really nice. It was also the time I learned what a jabot was really called (previously called it tissue LOL) and how it was worn (thought it was worn from the inside, like tissue during a meal LOL). If I had clothes like that, I'd probably wear them everyday. Hahaha.

Food

2008-05-28T18:15:00.001+08:00

The phone in the office rang, and the one who answered it said that it was for me. This was the usual pattern whenever a player would look for me, so I was pretty surprised to hear that Cat was the one looking for me outside.

She was wearing this cute pink dress because she had to attend a meeting.

She dropped by to ask me to give Hazel her recommendation letter, as well as give her and me some merienda.

It was perfect since I was feeling pretty hungry. After I finished it, I thought about her mom, and how maybe I was being made fatter for the slaughter. Ha ha ha.

But anyway, seriously, Cat and I chatted about it while I waited with her to get a taxi. She said that her mom was pretty much okay with the whole situation. It's possible that she thought it was a bit strange though, how fast Cat and I became a couple.

Hm... that's not much of a hurdle I think. Maybe an arm would be an effective peace offering, ha ha ha.

Mom

2008-05-28T12:12:00.001+08:00

Well, not my mom. Haha.

Catherine's mother wants to eat me on Saturday. Er, meet.

Not that I'm worried though. I wonder how their conversation went?

---

Catherine: "Hi Mom, I have a boyfriend."

Cat's Mom: *thinks to herself* "Hmm... shall I have a slice of ear? Oh, the entrails would taste sweet while the blood is still flowing."

Catherine: "Mom?" @_____@

Cat's Mom: "Oh, of course. Sorry about that. I want to meet him on Saturday."

Catherine: "Great! We're going out in the afternoon, though, to an anime convention. When exactly would you like to meet him?"

Cat's Mom: "Lunch time would be perfect."

Catherine: "Oh, we'll have him join us for lunch? That'd be so nice!"

---

Cat, nooooooooo~

Goodbye, world. T__T

I WILL SERVER DOWN

2008-05-25T04:14:00.002+08:00

RF underwent an emergency maintenance one morning, a few days ago.

The server announcement asked the players to log out, followed by the words "I will server down".

Concerned players texted the managers, thinking that the servers were under attack. LOL

---

Today, I introduced Cat to my family. They welcomed her warmly, just like I told her. :) She was pretty cute while she was worrying about it, though. Haha.

After dinner, we hung out for a while until around midnight, when I had to take her home.

Now, I'm still awake. I guess I didn't get enough of her yet, today. Can't sleep. T_T

Caaaaaaaaaaaaaat. *bites*

To Catherine

2008-05-24T01:24:00.000+08:00

The moon wanes, the tides recede, the leaves fall;
Good days give way to rain, and soon,
I will run out of stories to tell.

When from the depths of slumber you wake from my bed
And I point to the horizon, I pray
That you remember the moment that you and I first kissed
The time when a great warmth shone over the gloomy air
And a ray of hope shot through existence
As the earth and the sky met.

When I tucked you in the night before, recall
The sight of the city skyline at dawn,
When twilight would give way to certainty
And enveloped all in warmth.

But hold your breath and let me kiss you,
Sleep a moment longer for I have no stories to tell.

That while I trace your brow, know that
I am touching the strands of your dreams.
When I watch you sleep, I am keeping away
The nearing shadows.

For though I no longer have any stories
- all my stories are about us, now -
The world still holds the tales I have yet to tell.

Monster Hunter Geekery

2008-05-21T19:08:00.003+08:00

Okay, so Cat says that her mother might freak out if she sees me, and that Tranq Bombs might not be enough.

To that, I said that I'd be the Shock Trap. Then she could start throwing the bombs. :3

---

Anyway, this is definitely a change of pace. I didn't think I'd find a girl like her - and this soon, too. I feel lucky. It's like I've known her for so long already... perhaps even from a past life, heh.

Maybe we were ninja lovers or something before. Hahaha.

Everything I discover about her only makes me appreciate and respect her more.

It has only been a few days (about two weeks at most) that we've been talking, and already we've been talking about things like we were old friends.

:)

Free

2008-05-17T01:31:00.004+08:00

When you find yourself singing freely, I think it means you're either happy or sad.

I'm feeling pretty good... :)

I am Fire

2008-05-12T04:32:00.001+08:00

Underneath the naked night is I, a flame.

I, a flickering fire feeding on earth, wood, leaf,
The thought of birdsong under a clear sky,
On dreams, hope, or images of the ocean,
On the memory of our first meeting and the imagined next,
Am the sum of all these parts.

My eyes are ephemeral as they look towards the stars
Just as my wishes as they rush outwards from me.
The clouds, tired of hearing your name, give me rain.

I flicker, fading, each burst of flame an arm
Reaching out and only catching a ray of starlight
Aged a hundred million or so:

The fragment of sunset burning into the darkness
Fades too fast to recognize the deceit.

I, never satiated, consume all beneath me
If only to climb the tower on which
I have set you up on.

mongol 800 - Chiisana koi no uta

2008-05-06T03:13:00.003+08:00

Lyrics:
Hiroi uchuu no kazu aru hitotsu aoi chikyuu no hiroi sekai de
Chiisana koi no omoi wa todoku chiisana shima no anata no moto e
Anata to deai toki wa nagareru omoi wo kometa tegami mo fueru
Itsu shika futari tagai ni hibiku toki ni hageshiku toki ni setsunaku
Hibiku wa tooku haruka kanata e yasashii uta wa sekai wo kaeru
Hora anata ni totte daiji na hito hodo sugu soba ni iru no
Tada anata ni dake todoite hoshii hibike koi no uta

Anata wa ki zuku futari wa aruku kurai michi demo hibi terasu tsuki
Nigirishimeta te hanasu koto naku omoi wa tsuyoku eien chikau
Eien no fuchi kitto boku wa iu omoi kawarazu onaji kotoba wo
Sore demo tarizu namida ni kawari yorokobi ni nari
Kotoba ni dekizy tada dakishimeru

Yume naraba samenaide yume naraba samenaide
Anata to sugoshita toki eien no hoshi to naru
Hora anata ni totte daiji na hito hodo sugu soba ni iru no
Tada anata ni dake todoite hoshii hibike koi no uta

Translation:
"Small Love Song" by Mongol 800

One of many in this wide universe
In the great world of this blue earth
This tiny feeling of love will reach
You on the little island
Time have passed since I first met you
The letters with my feelings grow in numbers
Without us realizing, it is already echoing between us
Sometimes intense, sometimes sad
It echoes distantly
This gentle song changes the world

*Look, the person who is important to you
Is right beside you
I just want to reach only you
This echoing love song
Listen, Listen, Listen to this echoing love song

You noticed that even the dark street
We walk on is lit up by the moon every night
Not letting go of the hand I grasped
The feelings are strong, I promise forever
In the depths of forever, I’ll surely say
These same words with my feeling unchanged
But it’s still not enough and turns into tears
It turns into joy, I can’t put into words
Just embracing, just embracing

* Chorus

If it’s a dream, don’t wake up
If it’s a dream, don’t wake up
The time I spent with you
Will turn into everlasting stars

*Chorus

Wither

2008-04-06T03:56:00.002+08:00

In the middle of the night

2008-03-25T02:48:00.002+08:00

Your eyes twinkle like the stars.
The moon is your smile
Along the curve of your lips, kissed,
when I gaze at you.
Let fall over me your black hair, the night,
As I rest my soul.

Starfall; alas, is this goodbye?
It will be morning when I wake.

Vendo Madness 2

2008-02-21T15:10:00.001+08:00

A friend of mine dropped 20 pesos in the office vending machine and got:

5 Sprite cans (full, of course)
40 pesos change

Vending Machine Lottery?

Been a while

2008-01-28T03:42:00.000+08:00

It's too bad that our gig at the FlyFF EB last Friday was cancelled. We had practiced two nights before, twice consecutively, and we all felt like we were going to have a damn good show. But, as circumstances would have it, our lead guitarist encountered some health problems, and could no longer get himself to play.

Well, at least our practices were good. This should give us more time to practice other songs (like D-technolife).

---

It is her eyes that I love, I think;
Her face is a haze as I walk the streets in the evening.

Once, those same eyes looked at me from
a ruffled cloud where her head lay,
the beads of sweat on her forehead
Glistening like stars underneath the night-shadow of me.

It made for a fine recollection.

I remember I had seen her long, black hair,
Like the shadow cast by an angel,
Once, on a stranger.

Once, those strands held me in rapture
As I walked beside her.
The streets in the evening gave way to her image.

The world is not a selfish being, indeed;
It has given me many chances to love.
Too many women have I seen, their common parts
Having received my affection (from far away)...

It has left me more nights to walk.

Scammed

2007-12-07T19:10:00.000+08:00

I bought a Coke from the vending machine in the office...

... and it gave me a can that was only 1/8ths full! ARGH. That sucks. Hahaha.

Judging Distances

2007-11-29T02:41:00.000+08:00

I save poems that I like in notes - text files in folders here and there, or in email drafts. This one came from the latter, and was saved over a year and a half ago. I read it again, and thought that I could share it.

Perhaps a year and a half from now, the distance will have been closed.

---

[link]

Judging Distances by Henry Reed

Not only how far away, but the way that you say it
Is very important. Perhaps you may never get
The knack of judging a distance, but at least you know
How to report on a landscape: the central sector,
The right of arc and that, which we had last Tuesday,
     And at least you know

That maps are of time, not place, so far as the army
Happens to be concerned - the reason being,
Is one which need not delay us. Again, you know
There are only three kinds of tree, three only, the fir and the poplar,
And those which have bushy tops to; and lastly
     That things only seem to be things.

A barn is not called a barn, to put it more plainly,
Or a field in the distance, where sheep may be safely grazing.
You must never be over-sure. You must say, when reporting:
At five o'clock in the central sector is a dozen
Of what appear to be animals; whatever you do
     Don't call the bleeders sheep.

I'm sure that's quite clear; and suppose, for the sake of example,
The one at the end, asleep, endeavours to tell us
What he sees over there to the west, and how far away,
After first having come to attention. There to the west,
On the fields of summer the sun and the shadows bestow
     Vestments of purple and gold.

The still white dwellings are like a mirage in the heat,
And under the swaying elms a man and a woman
Lie gently together. Which is, perhaps, only to say
That there is a row of houses to the left of arc,
And that under some poplars a pair of what appear to be humans
     Appear to be loving.

Well that, for an answer, is what we might rightly call
Moderately satisfactory only, the reason being,
Is that two things have been omitted, and those are important.
The human beings, now: in what direction are they,
And how far away, would you say? And do not forget
     There may be dead ground in between.

There may be dead ground in between; and I may not have got
The knack of judging a distance. I will only venture
A guess that perhaps between me and the apparent lovers
(Who, incidentally, appear by now to have finished),
At seven o'clock from the houses, is roughly a distance
     Of about one year and a half.

Flowers

2007-11-14T21:52:00.000+08:00

It's when a street kid gives away her last sampaguita to me just so that she could go home, is when I know that something isn't right in the world. It was raining quite lazily this evening, as I drove to fetch my younger brother from school. What are their parents doing? Probably sitting along a street corner, letting their kids do all the work.

But then again, I don't think I know enough about them to judge them.

The kid just left it hanging on my side mirror, and I watched it for a while as she left, and for a few moments after. After a long stretch of road it was blown away by the speed, perhaps heading for home itself.

Back to Work

2007-10-31T01:48:00.000+08:00

Ah well, it's back to the usual for me in the office.

The short experience during the shoots were kind of surreal, and I think I'll never forget those fun times (I still kind of miss it right now). Now that I'm back, though, I guess there're other things I should look forward to - the band, for example. I'm joining as the rhythm guitarist in a band that plays J-rock songs, so I guess that should be fun. Hopefully I get to join their practice this weekend.

LU Live's right around the corner too. That should be neat.

Longest Day 2

2007-10-29T02:59:00.000+08:00

Well, I won't tell in detail what exactly happened during both parts of the shoot, since most of it was just usual shooting stuff anyway. I'll just explain my thoughts on it, and the fun parts and the things I learned along the way. This is going to be a bit random though, so don't expect chronological order or something.

---

Ral and Rex were the ones often with me, with the former always there to make sure that I looked all right, and with the latter being the one coaching me on how to act. Rex taught me a lot of things about how to go about the scenes, and it was nice that he was inspiring, upbeat and cheerful all the time. These two would often talk about many random, funny things, and they made the days pass by on good notes.

Near the end of the second part of the shoot, Jaja told me that I was very hardworking, probably because she noticed that I didn't like resting even if it was suggested to me. I just thought that since everyone was doing their best, I should, too. I suppose I got a bit of the workaholic thing from my Dad. I just smiled back in reply, though, since I was a bit tired and it caught me off guard. I was glad that the air on the set was very lively, with everyone being very understanding and motivating. Patrick even said, "This feels like a college project." And we all agreed.

I understand a little now how some actors could become spoiled - everyone on the set conspires to make everything look right and good, the actor included. I was never really the type who wanted to be tended to every minute, but I didn't bother to stop anyone from doing their jobs since I thought it would dishonor them. Besides, I guess it was also part of my job to look right and feel good to be able to act properly, so I just accepted what they gave me gracefully and didn't demand any more than what they gave. I think that's the important thought that people in my position shouldn't forget.

---

I wonder what they thought about me? I tried not to think about it then. It's not a big deal for me right now, but of course, I have to admit that I am a bit curious. I was the newbie then, so at the back of my head I had this nagging thought of wanting to do my best and impress them a little. It wasn't natural for me, but I did try my best. At the end of the day, though, when we said our goodbyes, their smiles told me that I did all right. I hope to meet/work with them again someday.

Longest Day 1

2007-10-28T22:45:00.000+08:00

Part 1 of new shoot: 6 AM to 7 PM
Part 2 of new shoot: 2 AM to 11 PM

Although the shoot was split in two, I felt like it was just part of one really long day. I barely got 4 hours of sleep during the evening of the first day (I had to, or else I wouldn't last during the second day).

First day started off just hanging out outside the DesignBlue office building somewhere in Makati. Met Jaja the director (a cutie, hehe) and Patrick, the graphics artist. Me and Mel (forgot her exact position) went there together and chatted with them a little while waiting for the others to come. After a while, Rex ("assistant director"), Jed ("sounds dude"), Ral ("make-up artist"), and Ica ("production manager") came, along with Lot, who was going to play my mother in the shoot.

"Juju?!" was Ral and Ica's first reaction when they saw me. Apparently they both were Ju's schoolmates in UP. Ica was Ju's blockmate in Thesis Proposal and org-mate in Quill, while Ral was Ju's batchmate in FA. Small world, heh.

I'm not too sure about the exact story of the ad. The title of the ad was "Totoy" (I'm Totoy, LOL), and was about some gamer kid who drank Nescafe and became a winner at life in the end. Hehe. It might make sense once we see the end product I guess.

Anyway, after breakfast, we went to the house where the shoot was going to happen. Set up took a while, so Rex told me about the plan. Met Jopay ("production designer") there, too.

"The cardinal rule of hosting" and "How to motivate an actor"

2007-10-21T02:05:00.000+08:00

The director dude here is Pat, and he's telling me "the only secret there is about hosting."

This was shot at the LU Mobile shoot.

Pat's a cool guy, always going about cheerfully with his work. I was actually surprised when I learned that he lost his wallet (containing a big amount of money which he was supposed to use to buy some hardware for his computer), but was still walking around with a smile on his face (although he was obviously regretful as he spoke). He's the kind of person who greets everyone he meets, and almost immediately, you feel a sense of closeness with him, whoever you might be.

Dating Test

2007-10-15T03:01:00.000+08:00

The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)
The Slow Dancer

Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.

Your exact male opposite:

The Hornivore
Random Brutal Sex Master

Always avoid: The Battleaxe (DBLM)

Consider: The Maid of Honor (DGLM), The Sonnet (DGLD)

Take the test here.

Oh Acting

2007-10-01T03:05:00.000+08:00

The AVP shoot for Level Up! Mobile last Saturday was pretty fun. I was actually surprised that I got the opportunity to be part of it (and be one to have the most lines, too, along with Marjo, who was my partner there). I never would have expected to be called by one of my colleagues in the Creative Department and be asked to participate.

Despite the rains, I went there early so I could practice with Marjo. I must admit that I was a bit psyched, then. When I got there, though a bit late, Marjo still wasn't there, and the guys were still setting up. After checking my mail quickly, I went back and talked to the director and the other people present there. We figured that we could start shooting the lines that only had me in it. Thus began the cycle of memorizing the line, practicing it out loud, doing it in front of the camera, getting comments from the director, and then doing it again. It wasn't as embarrassing as I would have thought years ago. When you look at the camera and focus, you don't really notice the people around you. I think the fact that they were also doing things seriously encouraged me to be serious as well.

The director would sometimes say, "It's hard to be an actor, huh?" After having experienced what I did then, I would have to agree.

I learned a lot that day, especially with regards to small gestures and mannerisms that might reflect negatively (or positively) towards the viewers. "Say it like you believe it!" "If you think it's true and say it as if it was, then it will be true." I guess those are basic things, but we forget those things when we're on the spot sometimes. When I got the hang of it, the shoot went by way faster. When Marjo was ready, we finished all of the parts that needed the both of us immediately so that I could get back to my work. Junnie was there since this morning, and wanted some more GM help since Carl got stranded by the rains.

It was just the usual work day after that, but I felt particularly "liberated", so to speak, after the shoot. It was going to be shown in a press conference, so I hope it looks well. I wonder if I'll get to see the end product.

(The bosses are going to see it definitely. Plus publicity points for me I guess.)

Just Me 1

2007-09-26T01:50:00.000+08:00

People might find me too serious about things. In the office, some of my friends there would take my attention, telling me that I'm the only one still looking at my computer screen, doing work while they're laughing about a joke or a funny story from a co-worker. My PW Team would sometimes tell me that "even when you're playing as a normal character, you still sound like a GM". Now that I think about it, it's true. :D Haha, I guess this is just how I am.

But the truth is that I'm just as interested in those funny stories and being silly and playing normally (well, it's more of "speaking casually") as anyone else around me. I'm trying to be a bit more open to other people by telling them what I think about certain things: being a bit more talkative about my work to my parents, and actually enjoying it, for one thing. During my weekend post, I try to bring JadeNight with me for a quick walk around the block towards the 711 or Ministop around the corner, grabbing some drinks or food and chatting about things as we walked. I do enjoy these things.

Although some might think I'm anti-social or unresponsive, I suppose there's still this part of me that looks very open. I still get to think that because more often than not, many people still take the initiative to talk to me when I get to serious about the things I'm dealing with. Perhaps it's a sense of profoundness that they get when I talk sometimes, or maybe it's just based on a loose form of trust. In any case, I am thankful for that.

As for dealing with girls, well, lets just say that I don't like courting anymore. I'd rather show who I really am in the beginning, than get caught up in a "lie" later on, and get in trouble. No special treatment for them, but sometimes I can't resist being a gentleman. Weakness? I don't know.

Trust

2007-09-16T04:09:00.000+08:00

Whatever happened to trusting real things? I am saddened that I have to trust a computer-generated file over a person. I don't want to be so aloof to simply say, "that's life" or "people are like that these days", since to do so would be a sign that shows that I do not care enough to change what is wrong in the world. On the other hand, perhaps it is too idealistic a thought?

I suppose it would be safe to give the back seat to "being realistic", at least until reality starts biting me in the rear.

So much for that.

A change for the better?

2007-09-13T00:05:00.000+08:00

I am faced with a decision that I can't ignore, or let wait for too long. I suppose that if this were a game, this would be the point where I choose between which paths would lead me towards the "better ending" (I don't want to say "bad" because, well, it's too uncertain; life's like that).

Regardless of the cons, I feel compelled to take my chances with this new leadership role. I don't think I could accept it if I just let this opportunity go. I'll face this change with no second thoughts and no regrets. I leave it to God what happens next.

Moon on the Water

2007-09-04T19:52:00.000+08:00

Moon on the Water

Full moon sways...
Gently in the night of one fine day.
On my way...
Looking for a moment with my dear.
Full moon waves.
Slowly on the surface of the lake.
You were there...
Smilling in my arms for all those years.

Chorus:
What a fool...
I don't know 'bout tomorrow...
What it's like to be.
I was sure,
Couldn't let myself to go.
Even though i feel...
The end.

Old love affair...
Floating like a bird resting her wings.
You were there...
Smiling in my arms for all those years.

Chorus:
What a fool...
I don't know 'bout tomorrow...
What it's like to be.
I was sure,
Couldn't let myself to go.
Even though i feel...
The end.

Full moon sways...
Gently in the night of one fine day.
You are there.
Smiling in my arms for all thoses years...

My Personality Information

2007-09-01T02:20:00.000+08:00

INTJs are introspective, analytical, determined persons with natural leadership ability. Being reserved, they prefer to stay in the background while leading. Strategic, knowledgable and adaptable, INTJs are talented in bringing ideas from conception to reality. They expect perfection from themselves as well as others and are comfortable with the leadership of another so long as they are competent. INTJs can also be described as decisive, open-minded, self-confident, attentive, theoretical and pragmatic.

(more information here)

Transformers Quiz

2007-08-28T23:47:00.000+08:00

I AM
84%
OPTIMUS PRIME Take the Transformers Quiz

Optimus Prime

Optimus Prime is the heroic leader of the Autobots. He is the personification of courage, strength, and integrity. His personal motto is that “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”

Like Optimus Prime, you are good by nature. But beware because mischievous thoughts sometimes tempt you. You are inspiring, confident, and a natural leader. The Autobots have chosen well. In addition, you use technology when you need to, but you do not embrace the latest trends.

Innocence

2007-08-27T03:06:00.000+08:00

A small kid, with height not higher than my knees, bumped into my leg while I was entering Shangri-La mall.

He yelled, "Haha, tinamaan!" And he laughed as if he managed to play a practical joke on me. I was a bit surprised that he didn't cry, but instead was happy that he bumped into my leg. Innocence like that is refreshing sometimes, when we're surrounded by the "adult world".

The Old Man's Example

2007-08-25T18:08:00.000+08:00

These drifting leaves, for instance
That tap my shoulder
Come along with us, they say
There are one or two questions
We should like to ask you

Bill Manhire

Reminders

2007-08-15T02:45:00.000+08:00

I shouldn't forget to be patient at all times... even more when my weaknesses appear. Makes me shudder at the thought of what happened a while ago. I let many people down; my close friends, even.

What Peter Pan Doesn't Know Won't Hurt Him

2007-08-15T00:30:00.000+08:00

I guess I learned a bit more about how it is to be an adult today (well, not technically today, since it's already Wednesday... *ahem*). Bureaucracies and pride are such terrible things, aren't they? All they do is slow things down and halt the course of good communication. It's always a good thing when parties agree to set those things aside for work, and even better if both understand why.

Egos; I don't really have a use for them. I don't know why some people hold them so dearly. I guess it's nice to be able to have some pride for yourself, but it's so wrong to be shoving it down everyone else's throats, or proclaiming yourself as better than everyone else. Or maybe, it's just me and my naivety - that things really aren't that way?

Life is complicated. Being an adult makes it worse. Society makes it even more worse, but not more than Politics does.

---

Persona 3 is supposed to be out already. I hope it is.

First Love I

2007-08-13T00:31:00.000+08:00

Sunshine falls differently today - it draws faint lines slowly as it approaches the earth, making its way through branches and leaves until it loses itself in the vast beauty of your hair. Your tresses seem to curl up as if to catch them, casting you in lights reminiscent of the creation of the first universe.

I see stars and deep galaxies around you, and, one by one, I trace them with my fingers. They leave a sigh of longing in their wake, as they go from stellar space to the silken, white land that is your face. My hand appears to melt into your skin, its smoothness smothering each of my fingers, and coupled with the defying radiance of your beauty, I no longer despair for its loss.

I am reminded by the lush, red roses that blossom in your garden at the sight of your lips. I am utterly moved to lean in, ever closer, and take in its scent or its entirety. If two roses then might make love to each other through proximity, naked under the sun and amongst all the other roses - alas, how much love we would have borne already.

The sun shines brightly this morning - let me have my kiss.

My Visual DNA

2007-08-06T13:43:00.000+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

PW CL, and People Taking The Easy Way

2007-08-06T00:17:00.000+08:00

The Perfect World Consumer Launch was pretty fun, yet tiring. I didn't notice the time as I walked from here to there, coordinating with the ones in the redemption booth and sometimes with the people in the other activity areas.

Yet, despite that, I think that the event was not without its shortcomings. I, for one, noticed something about the people there. I suppose you can't blame them, but people who are afraid of getting burned for doing what's right make for bad employees. For instance, one of the people manning the game trial section said that he was told on by the event manager for stamping people's passports (by participating in an activity, your "passport" is stamped - complete all stamps for freebies) even if the game trial computers still weren't operational. In other words, he wanted people to wait for the computers to work, before they could get their freebies. Some people were done by 10 AM (players can be really "adik" with their game - real life isn't an exception), yet the booth operator was told to NOT stamp their passports (for the record, the game trial booth became functional at around 1:30 PM or so).

Why should he stamp their passports? Well, for one thing, it's to make things convenient and enjoyable for the people. Waiting is never a fun thing to do. Waiting for something that IS the fault of the organizer is worse. Much worse. I had to put my own name on the line just so that the players could get their stamps, their freebies, and go on with their day. And then when I told the event manager about what I did, he tells me, "Good plan. That was great. Excellent."

I am annoyed by incompetence, but I'm a very patient person. Did that sound a bit arrogant? I don't mean it in an "I can do everything, so you should be able to do so, too" way. I'm just irked at how people can be so clueless at times (and how their common sense would disappear so conveniently).

---

Moving on, Carl and I, and a few others entertained our Fa Shih model for some time, since one of the event organizers said that she was getting bored (another moment of incompetence, but I'll not dwell on it for now - I believe she was just sitting backstage alone for the most part of the morning). It was the first time that I had seen her wearing that costume, and I was amazed at how much she looked like the one in the loading screens (I think she looks better than the image, personally).

She was quite nice to talk to. Too bad I couldn't talk to her more, though. Our conversations would get cut by work or other people who wanted to have a picture with her. I hope I get to meet her again.

Random 3

2007-08-02T20:31:00.000+08:00

A bit busier than usual today, but nothing I didn't expect.

Filled up a few forms, debated about some game issues, helped create some funnny programs for my team, wrote up RP posts, sent emails, hung out a little (barely) in-game, and so on. Nothing out of the ordinary.

A friend of mine sent an email to some of the bosses around here, though. I assume someone's going to get fried because of that.

PERSONA 3 COMES OUT IN AUGUST 14! Can't wait. Here's the packaging of the Japanese version:

OMG :3

2007-08-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

This girl is so cute. :3

Click me for a larger image!

Personality Test

2007-07-31T19:32:00.000+08:00

INTJ - "Mastermind". Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population.

Take Free Jung Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Main type	Variant

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	40%
Type 3	Image Awareness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	53%
Type 4	Sensitivity	\|\|\|\|	20%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	53%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%

Your main type is 9
Your variant is sexual

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Random 2

2007-07-30T20:08:00.000+08:00

If there's one thing that annoys me the most, it' irresponsibility. Although I'm pretty patient, sometimes it just really gets to me.

... Yeah I'm kinda pissed off right now. Well, I was pissed off two days ago, to be more exact. Oh well.

I'm almost level 45 in RF! I'm Getting back into the groove of the Chip War (though I haven't joined one yet, LOL - just levelling a little).

Mabuti pa ang...

2007-07-24T23:11:00.000+08:00

Mabuti pa ang kalendaryo, may date.
Mabuti pa ang school, may chemistry.
Buti pa ang chemistry, may lab.
Buti pa ang fireworks, may spark.
Buti pa ang test paper, sinasagot.

Mabuti pa ang math problem, pinag iispan.
Buti pa ang bees, may honey.
Buti pa ang farm, may chicks.
Buti pa ang halaman, may nag aalaga.

Mabuti pa ang bulaklak, blooming.
Buti pa ang salamin, minamasdan.
Buti pa ang lungs, malapit sa puso.
Buti pa ang nawawalang gamit, hinahanap-hanap.

Mabuti pa ang kotse, mahal.
Buti pa ang unan, yakap mo sa gabi.
Buti pa ang assignment, inuuwi.
Buti pa ang keyboard, may type.
Buti pa ang film, nadedevelop.

Mabuti pa ang telepono, hine-hello.
Buti pa ang basketball, may ring.
Buti pa ang soccer, may goal.
Buti pa si Michael Jackson, may moves.
Buti pa si Kobe Bryant, nakakascore.

Mabuti pa ang probability, may chance.
Buti pa ang hersheys, may kisses.
Buti pa ang film, nadedevelop.
Buti pa ang hininga, hinahabol.
Buti pa ang tindera, nagpapatawad.

Mabuti pa ang pera, iniingatan.
Buti pa ang report, may objective.
Buti pa ang patay, dinadalaw.
Buti pa ang nakakulong, binabantayan.
Buti pa ang radyo, pinapakinggan.

Mabuti pa ang poste, steady.
Buti pa ang araw at buwan, consistent.
Buti pa ang Rosary, may mystery.
Buti pa ang bagoong at kare-kare, pinagsasama
Buti pa ang sapatos, may kapares.

Mabuti pa ang stationary, personal. Dahil ako, parang notebook; filler lang.

---

So EMO! Hahaha! Stole this from my cousin's journal post.

Random stuff

2007-07-24T00:41:00.000+08:00

In relation to the last post: It's nice to see some activity starting. I hope this continues. This is the kind of thing that makes me want to keep on going.

I'm currently level 30+ in Perfect World. I guess I'm just a rank 2 addict, since I hear that there are already level 40+ players. Haha. Either way, it's a good thing. I can't wait to see how the game develops.

Others

2007-07-23T00:21:00.000+08:00

Got a bit ticked off a while ago because of some people's lack of professionalism (or seriousness?). I'm making ends meet by making things more organized (and just plain better, basically) but it seems like they're not noticing. I don't know if it's just a sign of the times, but people are becoming less emphatic about others, it seems. It's like they don't care at all. Oh well, I hope to change that... but by later on I hope I still have the drive to continue doing so.

My Dad asked me earlier if I was still seeing my ex. "'Di na nga eh," I told him. Of course, I haven't told him that we broke up already. He told me that I could use the extension card he gave me to bring her to a date someday. "Thanks," I said. He's so nice, but I didn't bother telling him any more details. I guess I don't like inquisitions on that topic. Why? I don't know. Maybe because I don't like being caught vulnerable or weak.

I was able to bond a bit with my sister as we were heading to The Podium from mass yesterday. Since the Suikoden CD was playing, we reminisced about all the nice scenes from the series. I enjoyed it a lot, and made me want to play the game again. Haha. Made me realize how I miss my family, too. I really appreciate my family's company. I watched Harry Potter with them again in The Podium. Although it was an average movie, I hung out with them for a while. I suppose it's going to be one of the few times that I can, since I'm going to be working on Saturdays now. Sigh, so much for that...

My boss texted earlier and asked me to go to work tomorrow, my day-off. Offset na lang raw. I hope I'm not sick anymore tomorrow.

Music

2007-07-21T02:55:00.000+08:00

I thought I'd share that Suikoden music I was talking about. If you want to listen to a different version of the "home" music that I mentioned in the last post, listen to "Main Theme" in the new TuneFeed widget (just click on the right side of the "song box" to scroll to the next song).

Good night.

Suikoden

2007-07-19T22:40:00.001+08:00

One of my all time favorite games - great story, moving music and characters that seem so real. I love one of the opening scenes in Suikoden I, where the hero, Gremio, Cleo, Pahn, and Ted were having casual conversation over dinner. I could feel the warmth of their "kinship". Listening to a new version of the music that plays inside their house, I just couldn't help but remember. I'd like something like that in the future.

Alone

2007-07-19T22:10:00.000+08:00

I like being alone, sometimes. I like the peace, how my thoughts just seem to float around me. I liked it then, probably because I knew at the back of my head that I really wasn't alone. I knew that I'd have someone to return to after a short while by myself. This would be the case for over two and a half years.

I saw it coming from way before. Circumstances would separate us, but she couldn't handle it. It's funny how I've always wanted her to become strong and decisive. The time that she became that, she left me.

Ah, well, it was no one's fault, really. It was just a seemingly good match that went well in the beginning. There was this facade of comfort back then, at least for her. When the convenience of proximity and time disappeared, individual preferences started to come out. I suppose this was a good thing - better seen now than later. At least something was done about it this early.

Why am I ranting? It's because I miss the comfort of loving someone. I miss the blissful feeling of touching that person, being close to her. If only things were different (the one wish of all tragedies). I just wish I could be close to someone right now. All of my close friends from before have moved on, and now, that last person has, too.

Some people might be surprised at this revelation. Some might think that this doesn't happen to guys like me. *shrug* Unfortunate things come to everyone.

Or maybe I just feel out of it right now, because I'm sick.

II

2007-07-16T22:59:00.000+08:00

When the waves are lulled to restful sleep
By the fiercest breeze or most ardent wish
Or when men lose their way in the morning;
When the gods become like trees, solitary rocks,
Silent, flightless birds, languid Spring,
Unlearned wisdom, muted orchestra, unrequited love:

These are the times when I do not miss you.

There is a little thing inside of me that echoes,
Its humdrum beating like the sound of a water wheel
Along a dying river. There, it speaks to me,
Tells me to be silent and think of only one thing
And that alone, and for all those infinitesimal seconds,
Until it finally bursts into uncountable, minute
Fragments of hope, screaming out your name
While the dreams of the seas begin to form waves.

Self-appreciation?

2007-07-14T12:39:00.000+08:00

My own poem is making me emo. LOL

Anyway, I'm off to Rockwell for a meeting and some fun and games over at the New Worlds Alliance event.

To Love a Poet - 5/14/06

2007-07-14T02:01:00.000+08:00

I loved her with words.

It was oft, and in many ways
That I loved her
With words

Yet she sought me as a sailor does stars
And just as often;
Her room, dark, tempted by
A sliver of moonlight
Is misty by her sighs.

Does she not recognize
The deliberate action of my words?
O, the heavens would have me harshly judged
For the Sundays spent searching
For inspiration
For the hundredth, milestone letter.

That I am a poet, she must loathe
Though I am thankful that her
Loathing loves me still.

I cannot deny
That I am a poet,

And I love her with words.

It was oft, and in many ways
That I lost sleep, writing under a shade of cloud,
Wandered the streets for inspiration,
A glimpse of poetry,

That I loved her.

---

I suppose the topic needed one, final post. Here it is.

Good night.

Pepwect

2007-07-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

PEPWECT: Ang pagiging "sabaw" dahil sa pag-gamit ng shortcut o ano mang solusyon na sanhi ng katamaran o teknolohiya.

"Naging pepwect siya dahil lalo pa siyang nawala dahil dumaan siya sa eskinita na 'yon."

"Ang pepwect ng kompyuter na ito, dapat buburahin ko lang yung '*.exe', e binura naman niya lahat ng file ko!"

Die Hard 4.0 and Boards Kung-Fu

2007-07-11T01:19:00.000+08:00

After a long day, I decided to finally watch Die Hard 4.0 (I still haven't watched Transformers. Argh). Considering the traffic because of the rains, I thought it would be a good chance to watch a movie and wait for the traffic to loosen up a bit. With a bacon, cheese and tomato sandwich from Oliver's and a large Coke, I watched John McLane blow up things and kick ass.

"Gonna teach them noobs a lesson," says Samuel L.
I just wish I can do something like that to those who blatantly disregard the rules of the message boards. Well, since we do have a Chinese Martial Arts theme going on...

"Flamingo Ancient Quandary Strike!" (FAQS or Frequently Asked Questions)

"Border-Crossing Overhead Crush!" (BCOC or Boards Code of Conduct)

"Night Obliterating Sinister Perilous Assault Maneuver!" (NOSPAM)

"Clandestine Lucid Occult Silent Enclosing Death!" (CLOSED)

This picture somehow makes me feel better! LOL

Grar

2007-07-09T21:39:00.000+08:00

I'm stranded in the office because of the rain (the one time I don't have a car), my PC just broke (I have to run it in safe mode, so no games or resizing the resolution above 800 x 600), and I haven't eaten dinner.

And before this becomes a whine post, I shall pack up and see if the rains have ended.

On another note, I very positively and lovingly hope that common sense and some intelligence become easier to find in local gaming message boards.

Wii

2007-07-08T15:23:00.000+08:00

My Mom came back from Hong Kong yesterday and brought home a Wii with her. I came from an Exalted board game session at Mike's, though, so I wasn't able to see her then.

Earlier this morning, much to my delight, I found my Mom playing Wii Sports' Tennis. She looked like she was having fun, too. My siblings joined in on the fun while I took a bath. It was funny because even my Mom wanted to delay going to lunch at my grandfather's place just so we could all make our avatars (I think they're called "Mii"). Very funky.

Still a bit sleepy since I came home at about 5 AM today, so I'm getting some rest before I go to Mass later. Hm, maybe I should check out Shoppesville for CDs afterwards, too.

Perfect World Soft Launch

2007-07-07T12:30:00.001+08:00

Oh, looks like someone took my picture. LOL

Conversations

2007-07-07T03:05:00.000+08:00

I've been awake for a while now. Looking at the clock, I realize that its been about 3 hours since I got home. Although sleepy and tired, well, I just couldn't seem to get myself to retire for the day. Looking for someone to talk to, I suppose.

Spent much time checking my boards, moderating here and there, reading topics. It's nice to read about casual conversations (even though some are spam). Seeing them makes me feel that the world is alive, and that I'm not in some dead, worthless place. Unfortunately, there's no one online. I'd stay a bit more in Perfect World, but it's still in the Closed Beta stage, and so there wouldn't be a lot of people in there right now.

Besides, I want someone insightful and deep, for a change. Fun and games can only go and entertain one for so long. Maybe I just want to reach out and connect to someone like me. That'd be a breath of fresh air.

I imagined myself talking to my blog, and then feeling disappointed since it would only stare at me, its white, empty screen flashing nothingness. And then, after I would type in a complaint, I'd grin and pat it on its (imaginary) back and say, "Ah, you sneaky bastard." Weird. Haha.

Sniping

2007-07-07T01:12:00.000+08:00

Today was long but quite fun. I enjoyed blasting people to bits with my mage. Hahaha. I'm still undecided if I'm going to play an archer (Yu Mang) or a mage (Fa Shih) in Perfect World, though. Felt nice to see some more of the players enjoying the game.

Tomorrow's another round of roleplaying Exalted. This time, I intend to go home, sleep, then just come back the next day instead of going at it through the night and into the early morning. Although it's fun, it's tiring. And I want to take a bath, LOL.

I

2007-07-06T00:21:00.000+08:00

I see infinity in your eyes,
As how the seas appear vast under moonlight, its waves
A welcoming motion towards its unknown depths
Or how the hand-picked flower seems eternally in bloom
When they leap from my hand to yours.

Of what wonders exist within you
That I might yet uncover? This certain uncertainty
Dares me to search you as if to strip you
Of your clothes, and in the same way, it excites me;

Your depths are challenged only
By this yearning, yet for many nights I still
Share sorrows with the moon, my solitary witness.

Your Daemon - From The Golden Compass

2007-06-27T22:51:00.000+08:00

Tata's 80th Birthday

2007-06-24T13:16:00.000+08:00

It was my grandfather's birthday yesterday. The celebration was grand: hotel ballroom, lots of guests, hired musicians, and so on. My mom and my titas were all their usual involved selves and took care of the programs and such. Of course, part of the program was a short performance by us (the cousins).

Preparation for Pomi, Juju, Calel, and Mikey: 1 afternoon. Preparation for me: a few hours. Songs played: The General by Dispatch, 1979 by Smashing Pumpkins, and I Am The Highway by Audioslave.

I felt that my guitars were sort of "clangy" because of the microphone placed on my amp. I should have just set the volume to full, since it could handle the big place anyway. In any case, things were fun but a bit messed up. Haha. We had a few "Oops, sorry" moments, but all in it was all in the spirit of showing your talent (some of it LOL) and being there for your grandfather and relatives. Maybe next time, we can have more practice.

I'd post pictures, but they're all with Tricia. I'll just borrow some of her shots when she posts them. Hehehe.

Widgets

2007-06-23T02:05:00.000+08:00

... I have a Sudoku widget on my blog. That's just insane. I wonder what other stuff I can put in here.

In other news, work has been so nice lately. The pay may not be as good, but it sure is fun. I've always enjoyed the thought of working with friends, and now I'm doing just that. I'm a bit close to one of my bosses because of some work I did with him, which I think is causing some sort of friction with the other workers. I'm trying to manage myself, how I deal with them, and my bosses, and so far so good.

I'm also glad that my friend / boss looks happier now. He had a rough encounter with the ones that he's in-charge of (partly because of me, mostly because of a decision he made), but he was able to overcome his troubles and weaknesses. Some of the more stubborn or conservative ones probably don't like him changing (maybe because they found a passive boss easy to control?).

I think I'll start posting here everyday, if only to exercise my creativity. I'm afraid that being lax in such things leads to much decay.